Weekend Update- I need to go ahead and get the warning out there. This post contains innuendo, a booty reference, and the use of a cuss word (same word 3 times). Tune out now if you are easily offended. Okay, for those of you still here let’s party. We didn’t want those others hanging out with us this week anyway. As often seems to be the case, stay tuned to the end. I have a bonus for you guys and I think you are going to really like it. In fact I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped right to this one.
I have this 1999 Wrangler Sahara Jeep that doesn’t get much use. I have had it at our place in Zavalla for about a year now. The idea
being to have a second vehicle in case something happens to the one we drove up there. Not having family and friends around has me thinking at another level in terms if being self-sufficient while we are at the Forbidden Tomato Farm. The darn thing started acting up on me a few months ago and I finally got around to taking care of the issue last week. Pulled out the handy voltmeter and figured out I needed a new Crank Position Sensor. bla bla bla. I won’t bore you with the repair details but I got it all fixed and on Saturday decided to drive it 150 miles back to Alvin. Man do I love this thing. A man and his machine. It rides rough. It bounces around the road. It has a vibration at 70 MPH strong enough to satisfy the most demanding woman, but then smooths out at 75. And that is about as fast as the old girl will go. While driving I do a visual scan of the gauges, counter clockwise then look at the road. Fuel level, oil pressure, temperature, voltage, and speed. Over and over I do the scan for the nearly 3 hour ride home. This is something I learned while learning to fly airplanes. Always know what’s going on. No surprises. Tiny adjustments to get what you need out of her. I know guys. It’s a nerdy, mechanical approach to driving. That said, to me it’s more than driving. I am operating a machine. One that is old, in need of attention, and needs care and feeding. An old jeep. An old airplane. It’s all the same to me. A man and his machine.HGTV Portion of my Update- We are moving right along with the finishing touches in the bathroom and front bedroom. PJ grouted the tile in the bathroom and took care of some much needed painting. I 
installed the bathroom vanity, insulated water lines, hung curtains, replumbed the water heater to a more suitable connection design. and hung a bathroom door. Well sort of on the vanity and door. The vanity is in place and connected to water lines. Unfortunately I didn’t have what I needed to connect the drain and didn’t have time to make an hour round trip to get what I needed. And the door is hung but will not fully close. I need about an hour to get things adjusted. Nothing is easy folks. In theory the door would go right back the way we took it off but demo work knocked something out of whack. At this point I come to expect these kinds of things.
installed the bathroom vanity, insulated water lines, hung curtains, replumbed the water heater to a more suitable connection design. and hung a bathroom door. Well sort of on the vanity and door. The vanity is in place and connected to water lines. Unfortunately I didn’t have what I needed to connect the drain and didn’t have time to make an hour round trip to get what I needed. And the door is hung but will not fully close. I need about an hour to get things adjusted. Nothing is easy folks. In theory the door would go right back the way we took it off but demo work knocked something out of whack. At this point I come to expect these kinds of things.Rebuilding an old house is so much more time consuming than building a new one. Not complaining, just passing along helpful info for those of you considering a project. One last bit of insider info to share- I quite often do things twice. Not because of mistakes, though they do happen, but by design. The water heater was installed to accommodate us building around it. We really needed hot water and didn’t want to wait for the bathroom construction to be complete. So I installed it knowing I would have to change the connections once the drywall and painting was done. Same goes for the curtains we put
up this weekend. We used a cheap Walmart curtain rod so that we could try out the curtain patterns that will allow us to move forward with some other design considerations. At some point I will be back on the ladder installing new rods. Working smarter not harder is always a challenge with this project but we are getting there. Never forget that time is a zero sum game. Bonus- I often talk about how great my wife is but in times like these I have to be honest. I gotta share the good with the bad. So here goes- I have to publicly call out my wife. I think she is trying coax me into doing something disgusting. You see she goes out of her way to make me a sandwich for lunch. Insisting I add a tomato to my sandwich. I am a meat and bread kind of guy but she insists. I acquiesce and, to be honest, I enjoy the sandwiches she prepares. Well a while back we noticed tomatoes growing where the old bathroom toilet was leaking. Could she be feeding me the tainted food? I think there is a chance. What to do about it? Sure, these things are growing like crazy but come on. These plants are the result of an overweight, elderly woman eating a tomato (sourced from God knows where) then passing it through what was probably a diseased colon, and on through an anus where it received one final coating of fertilizer before a gaseous discharge with the force of a 300+ pound woman forced the seed through a crack in the sewer pipe and into the ground. And that is just the
beginning of the tomato’s journey from seed to table. The leaky toilet provided ample amounts of urine tainted water at just the right levels needed by a thirsty plant. And let’s not ignore the real secret ingredient here folks. I am talking shit. We are not talking just any old shit, but shit from a woman on a high fat East Texas diet. Fried catfish on Friday nights, fried chicken (and gizzards) on Saturday, Fried squirrel on Sunday and at least one visit a week to the cattle trough at the Lufkin Golden Corral. The fact that these plants exist at all is truly a miracle and further proof that life will indeed find a way. I could go on but I have to stop writing about these disgusting things. Hey PJ- I am counting those tomatoes and if I find one missing you and I are going to have a come to Jesus meeting.Till next week folks.